A Tribute to Sasuke
by Cyber Hyena1
Summary: A small remembrance to one of the many beat up side kicks in anime. Please review, and please no flames.


A Tribute to Sasuke

Disclaimer: I don't own any Ranma characters. I'm too lazy to write a full disclaimer.

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Ranma sighed. His day had been going so well, but as usual his "Fiancée Sense" began tingling. His hunch was rewarded with a shower of black rose petals and that dreaded laugh. "OHOHOHOHO!! Ranma Darling!" Kodachi Kuno called out, launching herself at him.

Murphy's Law kicked as Akane walked by and saw Kodachi romancing Ranma, her jealousy kicked in and by the gleam in her eye, Ranma knew either he or the Black Rose would end up with a mallet embedded in their skull, and most likely it would be him.

"Ranma you jerk!!" she screamed, swinging her trusty mallet at offender. Kodachi detached herself from her dream man and raised her ribbon. "Vile witch! You dare to attack my Ranma?! Feel my wrath!"

But before either girl could dive into combat, a loud shrill whistle directed all attention to a messenger boy. He stared for a moment before approaching the two angered women. "Which one of you dames is Kodachi Kuno?"

"That would be me, peasant." The lady (and I use the term loosely,) of the Kuno house replied, holding out her hand. The messenger handed her a single envelope and left while the getting was good. He heard of many a barer of news suffer immensely at the hands of the Kuno siblings and wanted to avoid obliteration.

The gymnast scowled and opened the letter and quickly scanned it's contents. The color slowly drained out her face. "Hey, I thought you wanted to fight." Akane snarled. The other girl didn't respond as she dragged herself over and shoved the yellow piece of paper at her rival.

Akane dropped her mallet and read the message herself, and Ranma looked over her shoulder with curiosity.

Dear Ms. Kuno.

I am sorry to inform you that Sasuke will no longer be in your service. He has been excepted and now resides in Second Banana Heaven. In other words he's dead.

Love,

TV's Frank.

Ranma shook his head. "Poor little bugger." He muttered. Akane nodded with agreement. The little Ninja wasn't really that bad of a person, he just had a poor taste in employers. Suddenly the minute of silence for the Kuno retainer's passing was interrupted by his ex-mistress.

"Wait! I can't imagine…no I shant!" She tightened her fist in denial. "Because it isn't true!" She snatched back the letter and read it again before letting it fall listlessly from her hands. "But it is!" she moaned.

She turned and angrily kicked a stone into the distance, successfully knocking Happosai for a loop during his rounds but she probably wouldn't have cared at the moment. "This sucks!" she spat. Then her face drained again and she grabbed Ranma by his shirt. "Who will be my guinea pig for my botanical mutations? My finger nail transplants are out the window! My..my fajita!"

She let go of the pigtailed boy and threw arms dramatically into the air. "Who I blame my mistakes on?!" she slumped and turned to the other two with watery eyes, and sniffled. "Who-who will I kill?" And on the spot she began to sing a small tribute to her favorite punching bag.

"I've destroyed and I've maimed

And I've kicked him.

Now I'm a bully with out a victim.

No adrenaline thrill

No screams that are shrill.

Who, who will I kill?

I've crushed his head a few times,

Memories like nursery rhymes.

No one died like my Sasuke.

No sweet blood to distill,

No cute tummy to drill.

Who, who will I kill?

When I look upon the first evening star,

I remember when I hooked his liver

To the engine of our car.

I could tickle my Aunt Lill

Or give my crocodile a cyanide pill.

But what Sasuke shaped void could they fill?

Here my fortune, You can bank it!

I'm no good with out my Sasuke!

It seems he could die,

With out batting an eye.

Now it seems

I must take my own bitter pill

Tell me, who, who will I kill?"

Through out the entire number, Akane and Ranma stood in silence, disturbed looks upon their faces. Kodachi stood for a minute before she broke down sobbing and leaned on Akane, of all people, for support.

The youngest Tendo sister stiffed and her face became blank as her rival poured out her grief up her shoulder. Ranma looked on in faint amusement. After five minutes she lifted her tear stained face from Akane's now water logged shoulder and hiccupped.

"Sayonara, Sasuke! And remember…," her face hardened into a evil look, "…I WILL kill you!" She resumed weeping and buried her face in Akane's shoulder once again.

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Please Review, and please refrain from flaming me.


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